We celebrate Youth Day on 16 June here in South Africa. And for me, it is wonderful to see how things have changed and grown and integrated over the last 20 years of our democracy. We've, by no means, gotten it all right over these years. But there is much that we have gotten right. And knowing that my son will grow up in this fledgling democracy of ours gives me hope for the future.
It got me thinking about how different my son's world is today, to what mine was at his age. But it also made me think of all the things that have remained the same. No matter the generation, there are still many of the issues that I dealt with as a youth that our youth do today. So this is what I'd like to say to them.
I was 20 when I got married and 22 when we welcomed our son into this world; barely an adult. Don’t misunderstand me. I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world … now. But at 22 there were so many things I still wanted to do and see, indulge in and experience.
I can remember at that age, despite already being a wife and mother, how I considered my parents (in their late 40’s then) to be old. It was impossible to image being that old. Now I can only look back and laugh because now I am in my 40’s and suddenly it doesn’t seem so old. But I have to say “Thank You” to our amazing son for all that he has taught me; and that he continues to “keep me young”. Looking back over the past 20-odd years, these are the things I learned along the way.
- Don’t let people tell you that “finding yourself” is a waste of time. It’s not! Take the time to learn all about yourself. Who you are, what you want and how you’re going to go about getting it.
- Don’t be in a hurry to grow up. Don’t wish your life away by thinking “I can’t wait to be an adult”. Savour every moment of being young … it will only happen once!
- Don’t roll your eyes and mutter “whatever” when your folks offer some advice. No, it’s usually not what you want to hear but it is said out of love … we know, we’ve been there and done that … we weren’t born 40! Strange as it may seem to you, we were your age once.
- Mom and Dad might not always know best, but the will always do their best because they love you.
- Share yourself with your parents. It means more to us than you will ever know. My son is now in his 20’s but he still plays “his” music for/with me … and then gives me a pop-quiz about who the artist(s) is. And I've to to say, I’m pretty darn good too! Or we'll crank Nickelback up loud and sing along ... and yes, not only do I know who Nickelback is but I know the words to the songs too! :)
- I get that you have a volatile cocktail of hormones raging rampantly through your blood stream and the opposite sex looks really good to you right now but save it. If you don’t want to wait … like parents always nag you to do … at least be selective about who you’re going to have sex with. There’s a reason why we tell you to wait for someone who cares for you … they’re the one that will be willing to think of your pleasure too and not just their own.
- Take responsibility for what you do and say. We, and only we, are responsible for our actions. And when we come to realise this, we then realise that anything is possible. Our achievements soar when we take responsibility for ourselves.
- YOU ARE AMAZING … JUST AS YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When Mom tells you you’re beautiful she’s not saying it because she likes the sound of her voice. She means it! When Dad says he’s proud of your achievements he’s not saying it because you’re his child. He means it! Please don’t compare yourself to others? You are unique, one of a kind, the Divine’s most amazing creation. Accept it, be proud of it! Own it!!!
- Be mindful … of what you do and say. You don’t like it when people make fun of you or put you down. Don’t do it to others. We all deserve to be here. Live and let live. If you can’t say something nice … don’t say anything at all.
- And yes, there is such a thing as Karma! What you do to others will come back to you. Since you can take that to the bank, why not make sure that what comes around is something good.
- Lastly, be good to yourself … you ARE worth it.
Use it, don’t use it, it’s all up to you but whatever you do; make the most of this life. Treasure this gift of life, make every day count. As the famous quote says, “Dance as if no one were watching, sing as if no one were listening, and live every day as if it were your last” ~ Unknown.
Go get ‘em Tiger!
With much love,
Dorothy
